Two individuals, male and female, seeking employment as of 3/1/00. Relevant skills include household/hotel cleaning and kitchen related services. This certified public accountant and public policy analyst are looking for pleasant employer and cozy work environment for the remainder of this winter season. Salary negotiable. All offers will be heard.

This is the classified we are thinking about running in the local newspaper in light of our recent layoff. That's right, we have been DOWNSIZED as maids!! On the afternoon of January 29th, the very same day in which BAD body odor forced Jason to use apple air freshner as deodarant, the Glaners (owners of the hotel we work at - all though not for much longer) sat us down to advise us that our last day of work would be February 29th. Even though we had an oral agreement that are jobs would be secure until the end of April, our bosses would not heed our pleas of financial distress and simply claimed they could not continue to afford our EXPERT cleaning services due to a lack of anticipated reservations in the months of March and April.

Feeling as though the wind had been taken out of our sails, we knew the situation required ACTION!! We immediately called upon our network of friends, Max & Marlene Oster, Kathleen, Steve, and even Pietro, for ideas on where we could secure employment. The consensus was to focus on the hotel/service industry within the towns of Interlaken, Lauterbrunnen, and Wengen. By Sunday morning, after a night of drinking lots of red wine and consoling one another, we had devised what has been affectionately referred to as "Plan A 1/2".

Heeding Nancy's advise, Plan A 1/2 is our worst case scenario. It entails working for the Glaners at the Hotel Caprice until the end of February and then throwing caution to the wind - just snowboarding for the entire month of March. Our first choice, however, is to keep the money rolling in for a bit longer and find jobs until the end of April, at which point we will be meeting Nancy in Prague for some much needed pampering.

As if being laid off wasn't bad enough, the very next morning we had to be at work by 7am. Needless to say, IT SUCKED!!! As for Monday, January 31st, we spent our day off looking for work. Our search took us to the neighboring villiages of Lauterbrunnen and Wengen. Much the same way we had approached our job search in Grindelwald almost 2 months earlier, we went door-to-door of all the hotels. This time, however, luck was not on our side. To overcome an entire morning filled with rejections, we went in search of a loaf of bread to go with the cheese and fruit we had brought from home. Our bad luck continued though, as all of the stores in Wengen were closed. So we pressed on, and on, and on, and on, and on until ironically enough we stumbled across Wengen's version of the Hotel Caprice - no relation tho the Hotel Caprice in Grindelwald. Weakened to the point of near starvation, I insisted that Dana ask if we could purchase some bread. Dana was disgusted by my suggestion, referring to it as "the dumbest thing she had ever heard of". Acquiescing to my plea, Dana caught the attention of a young waitress who took pity on the 2 pathetic and desparate individuals standing before her and was more than happy to give us 1/2 kilo of bread for FREE!!! She also provided us with some information on how we could get the "law" after the Glaners for their improper treatment of their 2 star employees. This was the turning point of our day...

After a hearty lunch and lots of warm sunshine, we hit the trail again feeling completely rejuvinated. Our first and last stop was the Hotel Silberhorn, a 4 star, 75 room establishment. We met with the manager who explained that he needed one person to clean rooms and one person for the kitchen starting at the end of February/beginning of March. We couldn't believe our ears...COULD THE TIMING BE ANY BETTER??!! We left our names and contact information with the manager and left before he could change his mind. Deciding to end the day on a positive note, we made our way home, confident things would all work out for the best.

As you all can well imagine, we are pretty PISSED OFF at the Glaners. We want to say goodbye to our current employers in "just the right way"!!! Please respond to our e-mail address, levinedana@hotmail.com, with any ideas you may have in terms of practical jokes and the like. We will post all suggestions on our online journal and let you decide our plan of attack. Thanks for your input, and remember creativity RULES!!!!