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Steve Holcroft
Steve, Lea, Brett + Beaulea's World Tour

ARTICLES

Monday - 3 Mar 2003
Warrington - Great Britain-England

Around the World in 80 Ways

2 adults

2 children

4 rucksacks

16 countries

4 continents

14 languages

16 flights

19 airports

72 airline meals

6 airlines

150 hostesses

10 ugly ones

16 hotels

7 apartments

8 motels

2 villas

1 backpackers

3 tents - 1 big, 2 small

34 campsites

4 cabins

25 cockroaches

16 aeroplanes

8 pleasure boats

3 ferries

25 trains

7 trams

55 busses

45 taxis

1 motorbike

2 cable cars

2 motorhomes

4 hire cars

no bicycles

6 theme parks

12 museums

11 cinemas

601 tickets

12 beaches

7 islands

4 coral reefs

5000 palm trees

35 dolphins

24 swimming pools

38 Internet Cafes

4 elephants

3 cameras

1 swiss army knife

18 projectile vomits

47 insect bites

10 bad stomachs

2 scars

1 chipped tooth

half a dozen falls

Single currency

100s of toll booths

1 World Cup

England 1 Brazil 2

1 Great Wall

5000 miles

1 Forbidden City

half a million vending machines

Tokyo - 1 clean city

Hiroshima - World War 2

1 bomb

140,000 dead

1000s of tailors

all your best mate

1 island

100s of tower blocks

1 River Kwai

1 bridge

4 elephants

dozens of malls

1 chinatown

1 little Italy

1 little India

1 tiny hotel

0 windows

2 cockroaches

millions of ants

no chance

1 bridge

1 opera house

20 million friendly people

dozens of beaches

1000s of surfboards

1 Surfers’ Paradise

1 plastic Elvis

Thank you very much

1 Didjeridu

5 Koalas

50 Kangaroos

40 dead ones

“don’t drive at night”

2 islands

1 fjord

100s of mountains

1000s of motorhomes

dozens of empty roads

no motorbike

bugger.

2 cultures

2 volcanoes

1 Bay of Islands

1 Disneyland

5 rollercoasters

4 log flumes

1 famous beach

Hawaii 5 0

24 casinos

10000 fruit machines

$45 in

$25 out

1 winner



Losing My Virginity

Can you remember losing your virginity ? Was it on a school trip, scout camp, or that holiday in North Wales with your parents when you were eleven ? I’m talking travel now, not sex, but there are more similarities than you might think.

Travel brings with it great excitement, but does it also bring a loss of innocence ? The innocent wonder of what it must be like in a far-off land, to walk the streets in a place you’ve only ever seen on TV, or read about in a book. For where do you first find out about sex ? TV and books, of course - Page 83 of your biology text book to be precise. Nowadays, there’s also the Internet. Travel and sex - probably the two most searched subject areas on the World Wide Web. See, even the name suggests travel.

When you get to your chosen destination, the place you’ve dreamt about for years, spent money to get to and planned meticulously, does it meet your expectations? Or will you regret it in the morning? If not, will you ever think of it in the same way again, now that you’ve been there, done that? Will you go back? Some people go back to the same place over and over again. Does that make them monogamous travellers? I’m a promiscuous traveller myself - preferring to go to pastures new as often as possible. There are a few exceptions, though. Some destinations attach themselves to you in ways which can be hard to define. It must be Love. Love for what? The view, the climate, the people, the ‘Experience’? All of the above.

Are you a considerate traveller? Do you think about the needs of your destination? Do you wonder if it was as good for it as it was for you ? Do you care? There are plenty of opportunities these days for you to put something back into the places you visit. To volunteer your effort and time as well as your money. Surely the best type of travel is when both sides get as much out of it?

Of course, you can lose your travel virginity in many ways. In fact, unlike sex, you can lose it over and over again. The first time you leave town. The first time you go abroad. The first time you go without your parents. In fact, for many people, loss of travel virginity and sexual virginity occurs at pretty much the same time - usually in Tenerife.

So what about travel to different cultures? You’ve gained experience in the ways of different people and can take that back with you. You are now a Tantric traveller!

As for so-called ‘Adventure’ Holidays, are they the ultimate travel experience? They certainly require strength and stamina. They may even be a bit kinky. Could trekking in Nepal be considered travel ‘bondage’? There’s a similar amount of pain involved, and they’re both done voluntarily and for pleasure. Or so I’m told...

It’s obvious that reading travels brochures and watching TV holiday shows is travel Voyeurism, possibly even flirting. So a visit to the Travel Agent must be downright foreplay.

‘Safe’ travel is a big issue nowadays. Years ago, nobody cared. They just went and did it and worried about it later, going home with a dose of something or other. Now you can get prophylactics against such things. Malaria is therefore the world’s most dangerous travel STD (Stingingly Transmitted Disease).

And, of course, no matter how far you go, how much you do it, how often and who with, you always want more - usually in a far-off land with a faceless bronzed stranger who’s never left town.






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EPILOGUE
  Steve Holcroft - Bio and Journals
  Steve, Lea, Brett + Beaulea's World Tour - Intro Average Rating of 27 Viewers
Chapters of Steve, Lea, Brett + Beaulea's World Tour
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  Itinerary
  Gizmos and Gadgets
  Recommendations
  Europe
  No Trouble in Big China ?
  Japan
  Hong Kong
  Thailand
  Photo Gallery
  Photo Gallery 2
  Singapore
  Singapore Photos
  Australia
  Aussie Photos
  Great Barrier Reef
  Aussie Photos 2
  Sydney Photos
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  New Zealand Pics 2
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